Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
