god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
