instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
