At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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