he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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