Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
