I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
