Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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