My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
we're making bets on your personal life
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
