First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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