If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
