Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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