Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
