You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
