Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
