you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's official drugs can't kill me
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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