i think i have two assholes
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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