I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The best revenge is premature balding
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
