You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
