I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
