Need sex. Gaining weight.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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