would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
