remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
God, I missed his penis.
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