If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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