Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
