You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
