No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
