why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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