I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
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