the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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