When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
