You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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