Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
