so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
