Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I lost the right to judge tonight
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
