Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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