No stitches, just platelets and will power
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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