my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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