A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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