Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
