i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
