I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
