Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
