Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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