how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
