from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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