So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
