You smell like stripper and shame
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
