wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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