Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
