Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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